The
Mistress Didi*s Articles |
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By
The
Mistress
Didi*
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©
2006
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There
is
a
terrible
injustice
that
has
happened
to
the
world
of
the
true
Dominatrix.
Those
of
Us
who
understand
the
Art
of
BDSM
and
the
D/s
relationship
have
been
confused
with
the
wave
of
barely
teenage,
hoochies
with
whips
and
without
a
clue.
I
present
the
following
to
clarify
the
difference
between
REAL
Dommes
and
what
I
call
“dummes”
~
those
who
are
too
limited
to
acquire
proper
technique,
cultivate
submissive
training,
and
educate
themselves
to
the
nuances
of
The
Scene.
Although
I
have
presented
this
article
with
a
focus
on
the
Feminine,
the
same
concepts
apply
to
"Masters"
and
"musters",
(those
who
attempt
to
"muster
up"
a
façade
of
Dominance)
but
with
a
testosteronic
(yes,
I
took
the
liberty
to
create
that
word)
mania.
I
make
it
clear
that
in
no
uncertain
terms
do
I
present
that
Professional
Dominatrices
are
"dummes",
although
far
too
many
are
corroding
the
concept
and
the
honor
of
being
a
Domme.
I'm
sure
I
will
ruffle
quite
a
few
feathers
with
My
views
and
experiences.
However,
it
would
be
advantageous
to
read
"submissive
vs.
substandard"
for
a
better
understanding
and
self-realization. |
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Philosophy |
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A
Domme
learns
technique
and
takes
the
Fetish
Arts
seriously.
Our
focus
is
more
on
the
thrill
of
Play
and
the
fulfillment
of
Our
lives
in
The
Scene
(and
in
general)
than
anything
else.
Dommes
have
friends
in
the
Lifestyle
with
whom
We
share
Our
Fetish
Fun.
A
Domme
cultivates
Her
submissives
and
creates
their
behaviors
to
be
"on
point". Our
subs
truly
desire
to
serve,
as
is
their
purpose,
and
achieve
great
fulfillment
through
service
to
Us.
Dommes
are
usually
highly
educated
and
indulge
in
intellectual
stimulations.
We
always
look
to
learn
something
new
about
technique
and
Play,
even
if
We
are
considered
to
be
experts.
BDSM
is
not
just
kink
to
Us;
it
is
an
expression
of
part
of
Our
Highest
Selves
in
balance
with
the
world
around
Us. |
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A
dumme
is
usually
(pardon
the
expression)
a
"dungeon
whore"
who
actually
believes
that
the
"dungeon
master"
is
not
just
a
pimp
in
disguise.
(It
annoys
Me
that
it
is
necessary
for
Me
to
state
that
not
every
Domme
who
"does
dungeons"
is
a
whore,
but
considering
the
deteriorating
state
of
The
Scene
today,
it
had
to
be
done.)
A
dumme's
focus
is
on
acquisition
of
as
much
material
as
she
can
get
and
quickly
goes
through
the
"trolls"
who
flock
to
get
what
they
can
from
the
new
kid
on
the
block.
Where
even
those
"1-hour
sessions"
provide
the
opportunity
to
train
clients
in
the
minimal
of
Scene
protocols,
dummes
jump
right
into
role
play
and
neglect
the
duty
of
a
Dominant
to
The
Scene
to
convey
even
the
slightest
instruction
--
usually
because
dummes
do
not
know
anything
about
protocols
themselves.
In
doing
so,
dummes
ruin
the
respect
for
the
rest
of
Us
in
The
Scene
who
have
to
endure
the
ignorance
of
their
clients
being
led
to
believe
that
being
submissive
is
paying
for
what
"they"
want.
dummes
seldom
have
Scene
friends;
they
usually
have
Scene
associates
who
are
"working
the
room"
with
them. |
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Attitude |
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This
is
not
to
say
that
some
Dommes
don't
have
stink
attitudes
(I
know
more
than
a
few),
but
most
Dommes
have
social
skills
of
some
kind.
We
know
how
to
be
cordial
and
respectful
to
other
Dominants
(even
if
We
don't
care
for
Them)
and
to
proper
submissives.
Dommes
adhere
to
Scene
protocols
and
take
care
to
maintain
the
reputations
We
want
to
be
known
for.
Most
importantly,
A
Domme
knows
that
Dominance
begins
with
control
of
Oneself.
Dommes
are
noticed
and
admired
when
We
enter
a
room. |
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On
the
other
hand,
dummes
usually
believe
that
to
be
a
brat
is
a
sign
of
Dominance,
when,
in
fact,
it
is
a
sign
of
poor
home
training
and
a
lack
of
self-esteem.
They
make
the
terrible
mistake
of
thinking
that
this
behavior
can
be
expressed
to
everyone
at
any
time,
even
to
other
Dominants.
The
care
that
goes
into
creating
the
dynamic
of
a
D/s
relationship
is
a
foreign
concept
to
most
dummes,
and
they
add
to
the
misinterpretation
of
"sensual"
to
be
equated
with
"sexual". |
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Presentation |
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A
Domme
gives
forethought
to
Her
presentation
of
Herself
and
Her
Displays
of
Play.
Her
sophistication
comes
from
respecting
Herself
and
Her
Fetish
Arts.
She
embodies
the
term
"Goddess"
by
being
Herself
a
Work
of
Art
with
Her
appearance,
intelligence,
education
and
social
grace.
A
Domme
does
not
accept
just
any
ol'
sub.
Quality
Dommes
have
quality
subs
or
choose
to
have
none
at
all.
A
Domme
controls
Herself
first
and
will
even
anger
with
eloquence.
We
will
leave
an
ugly
situation
rather
than
"make
ugly",
although
there
may
be
some
exceptions.
Dommes
socialize
to
contribute
to
what
the
Scene
has
to
offer. |
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A
dumme
experiences
life
from
a
lower
form
of
energy.
Therefore,
she
attracts
a
lower
energy
and
appeals
to
a
lower
level
of
The
Scene.
Art
is
missing
as
floggers
flail
without
skill
and
her
only
consideration
is
how
much
damage
she
can
inflict
on
the
masochist.
This
woman
is
predominantly
a
sinister
kinkster
surrounded
by
trolls
and
sex
seekers.
A
dumme
usually
finds
it
necessary
to
be
the
center
of
attention
in
brash,
braggadocious
ways.
This
behavior
that
dummes
present
to
The
Scene
is
more
of
an
attempt
to
convince
themselves
that
they
are
Dominants
than
it
is
to
impress
others.
dummes
are
appreciated
when
they
leave
a
room.
Their
need
for
attention
is
always
expressed
publicly
with
"drama"
~
and
usually
ugly
drama.
dummes
mistakenly
believe
that
this
type
of
attention
brands
them
as
Dominant,
when
all
it
does
is
brand
them
as
distasteful.
dummes
socialize
to
take
what
they
can
from
The
Scene
and
to
find
clients. |
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Play |
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A
Domme
has
definite
structure
to
how
She
conducts
Her
scenes.
She
carefully
orchestrates
them
around
Her
areas
of
expertise
and
engages
the
submissive
to
ride
along
the
edges
of
his
limitations
while
always
respecting
them.
As
I
mentioned,
a
Domme
is
an
Artist
and
Her
goal
is
to
create
splendor
in
Her
scenes;
however
She
may
express
Her
Art:
from
sensual
to
extreme.
A
submissive
accepted
for
Play
presents
himself
for
Her
pleasure
and
is
rewarded
for
fulfilling
them.
Tributes
are
offerings
for
the
opportunity
to
serve
and
please
the
Domme
according
to
Her
wishes.
There
is
self-realization
and
evolution
for
both
the
Domme
and
the
submissive
through
the
dynamic
She
creates
in
Play. |
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A
dumme
begins
her
scenes
with
the
"submissive"
saying
what
he
wants;
sometimes
disguised
in
terms
like,
"i'm
into..."
The
goal
is
the
tribute
in
whatever
form
it
takes
and/or
to
have
an
audience.
Scenes
are
a
means
to
an
end
where
a
dumme
tries
to
reinforce
her
belief
that
she
has
established
herself
as
dominant
and
to
fulfill
the
desperate
need
for
attention
and
validation. Whatever
gratification
occurs
is
usually
material
and/or
kink-sexual
for
the
Players.
There
is
no
opportunity
for
expansion
of
self
for
anyone. |
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Conclusion |
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Ultimately,
a
Domme
respects
The
Scene
as
an
integral
part
of
Her
lifestyle
where
dummes
use
The
Scene
as
a
filler
for
what
is
missing
in
their
lives
and
personal
development. |
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I
find
it
interesting
that
quite
a
few
dummes
use
The
Scene
to
achieve
higher
goals,
such
as
putting
themselves
through
school,
and
then
leave
The
Scene
completely.
I
say,
"Good
for
them"
because
(1)
they
are
leaving
The
Scene
(one
less
destroyer
of
The
Scene's
integrity)
and
(2)
they
are
moving
on
to
what
they
truly
want
to
fulfill
their
lives.
Perhaps,
they
will
be
able
to
offer
something
valuable
to
the
Whole
and
find
happiness.
I
hope
so. |
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If
I
had
My
way,
dummes
would
not
be
allowed
to
call
themselves
"Mistresses"
as
their
practices
are
diminishing
the
meritorious
stature
of
Dommes.
There
would
be
a
different
term
for
dummes,
especially
to
separate
the
hoochie
from
the
True
Goddess. |
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Addendum October 200Gr8 |
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originally printed in The Mistress Didi*
Commands ~ October 28, 200Gr8 |
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My Articles always make
people think ~ something they should do more often. In particular, two
of My Articles,
Domme v. dumme and
submissive v. substandard, do two things:
-
they give solace to
those people who respect Fetish and The Scene to know that its despicable
deterioration in value due to behavior of others is not all that's left of
The Scene and We are not alone; and
-
they allow people
with these bad behaviors to recognize themselves and their associates in
ways they don't wish to acknowledge and this incites passionate needs to
attempt to make Me wrong for what I live as truth.
Of course, this never works and these people prove every point I make in
My Articles about their kind.
Due to recent,
unprofessional, and unpleasant events in the NYC Professional Domination
Scene, tempers have flared, emotions are high, and the silly people come out
in rare form. Those of Us Who LIVE The Scene are always bemused by the
"visitors" who want to lecture Us on "how things are."
Below is a response to a
newbie's insistence on lecturing ME on what the ProDomination and Lifestyle
Scenes are all about. In reality, he was attempting to pontificate to
mask the recognition of the fact that his experience in The Scene is greatly
"dummified" and his fantasy has been shaken by the truth I present and
represent. I figure
since I took the time to further explain My thoughts to him, I will allow
him to be of further use and share with you what I wrote to further clarify My distinctions between REAL Dominants and "hoochies".
Hopefully, I won't find a need to explain simple concepts any further.
(LOL!) As a side note, there are
many misconceptions that ProDommes are not Lifestyle ~ many are, many are
not. EVERY ProDomme that I associate with is completely Lifestyle.
Lifestyle does not have anything to do with money exchanges or the lack
thereof. As the word means, Lifestyle is about how One lives One's
life. My response
to the person's reaction to My use of the terms "dumme" and "REAL Domme":
As you've pointed out, this is all about opinion and
experience - yours and Mine. I live what I describe where the VAST
majority of people on [message board name] only "visit". So, the blur between what you think
of in terms of ProDomination and Lifestyle is based on what you've lacked in
your experience in The Scene.
This is not a dig; I am pointing out that the difference in quality of
expression of Domination in The Scene has declined with the rapid influx of
dummes.
The word "professional" connotes that one performs the activity as a
profession, for a living, for remuneration. This is not exclusive to how the
professional expresses the activity in all areas of Her or his life.
Think of it in terms of dancing. There are dancers and there are dancers.
Just because some person is swinging on a pole for money to music does not
put her/him in the same class as the dancer who has spent the time learning
technique, practicing, perfecting, and who has honored the Art of Dance.
The same applies for ProDomination. In My experience, the lack of respect
for The Scene has been fostered by dummes and expressed in the deplorable
behaviors of their disrespectful clients.
This is an abomination for the beauty of
Fetish as Therapeutic Art
which I, and ALL of the P/people in The
Scene whom I know and associate with regularly, steadfastly believe in.
We live in a place of intense, loving harmony with Our Fetishes and
that can only be achieved and appreciated when the proper respect for The
Fetish Lifestyle is given.
When one chooses to only be a visitor to The Scene, s/he still needs to show
the respect that those of Us Who ARE The Scene give to It and to each Other.
dummes
and
substandards
ruin it for all by making the mainstream
misconceptions of The Scene into even worse sordid realities.
Those people who are searching for the type of personal and spiritual growth
and evolution that Fetish can give have an increasingly difficult time
finding The Beautiful Fetish World because the disrespectful creatures blemish The
Scene with their greed, stupidity, and tabloid exploits.
Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress
Didi*
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